


Love.

by a_clever_scheme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abused!Hinata, Abusive Relationships, Almost death, Angst, Denial, Domestic Violence, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt Hinata Shouyou, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Pain, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Violence, haha no
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:12:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7660819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_clever_scheme/pseuds/a_clever_scheme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata knew that he loved him. And that all their fights were Hinata's fault. And that all Hinata needed to do to was to fix their relationship by proving his love to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: I do not at all mean to encourage any of the following behaviour. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please do not hesitate to seek help. SUICIDE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. 
> 
> With that said, please enjoy. 
> 
> FYI, I don't have a heart anymore. 
> 
> If you have an idea of who "he/Him" could be, please tell me. Cause I have no idea.

Hinata was late. The line at the grocery store was very long, there was a traffic jam, and an accident, so he wasn't able to get home before 6.

 

_He_  was going to be upset. Hinata hated when h _e_  got upset, because he knew it was all his fault. There was no question to it.

 

When Hinata got back to the apartment, _he_  was already there, waiting for Hinata.

 

“You’re late!” _He_ roared angrily.

 

Hinata looked down at the ground, feeling tears form at the corner of his eyes. It was all his fault.

 

“I’m sorry,” Hinata whispered. He looked up slightly. “But the line was really long and-”

 

“Shut up!” _He_  yelled. “I don’t want your petty excuses.”

 

Hinata’s eye snapped back down to the floor.

 

The first punch came out of nowhere. It knocked Hinata to the floor.

 

After that came a flurry of strong kicks, and it didn’t help that _he_  worked out at the gym quite frequently.

 

Hinata tried to curl up into a small ball, while tears streamed down his face.

 

The blows, however, didn’t hurt as much as the words.

 

“Worthless, that’s what you are. You can’t do anything right, even the simplest tasks.” _He_  snarled down at Hinata.

 

“I love you, I take care of you, I put a roof over your head, and how do you repay me? By being a worthless piece of shit,” _He_  said, punctuating each word with a kick.

 

“You make me act like this.”

 

“It’s your fault.”

 

“If you just did what you were told, this wouldn’t happen.”

 

And Hinata knew that it was true, all of it. It was all his fault. There was nothing else to it.

 

“If you loved me, you would do what you were told. Do you even love me anymore?”

 

_I do. You know I do._

 

“Sometimes, I think it would be better if you were dead.”

 

With that, _he_  left, probably off to go get a drink at the closest bar.

 

Tears trickled down Hinata’s face.

 

He knew that he deserved everything that happened to him, that he was the cause of everything gone wrong in this relationship.

 

Hinata got up after what seemed like hours, and slowly picked up the groceries that had been scattered across the floor during the storm of _his_ anger.

 

Hinata knew that when _he_ got home, _he_ would most likely be hungry, so Hinata got to work cooking _his_ favorite meal, even though it hurt just to breathe.

 

Hinata looked longingly down at the food, knowing that he already had eaten his food for the day, and he wasn’t to have anymore.

 

Once that was done, Hinata stumbled to the bathroom, and took a look at himself in the mirror.

 

He winced at his reflection. Hinata’s lip was split, and a black eye was quickly forming. Hesitantly, Hinata lifted up his shirt, only to be met with multiple bruises and a few re-opened cuts scattered across his too-skinny frame.

 

Hinata gently touched one of his ribs, and immediately recoiled and hissed in pain.

 

It was probably broken. He would have to go to the hospital tomorrow. Again. With another excuse. Again.

 

But it was all worth it, because he got to stay with _him_.

 

Hinata would endure anything for _him_.

 

This was the second relationship Hinata had ever been in, and it seemed a bit… _off_ , but that was okay.

 

Hinata knew that he himself caused it, so there was really nothing wrong with _him._

 

However, _he_ had been doubting Hinata’s love for _him_.

 

No matter how many times Hinata insisted that he loved _him_ more than anything, _he_ never seemed to believe him.

 

So, Hinata had to prove it to _him_.

 

_“If you loved me, you would do what you were told.”_

 

What had _he_ told Hinata to do?

 

What could Hinata do to prove that he loved  _him_?

 

_“I wish you were dead.”_

 

_“I think it would be better if you were dead.”_

 

_“You’re useless. Go die.”_

 

_“You should kill yourself.”_

 

Hinata knew what he could do.

 

 

Hinata knew that _he_ sometimes had trouble sleeping, so there was always a supply of sleeping pills in the cabinet.

 

He took them out and shook some into his hand. Was eight enough? Maybe nine? He ended up with ten.

 

Hinata replaced the bottle, and poured himself a glass of water.

 

As he swallowed the pills, he thought about the only other relationship he had been in, with Kageyama.

 

Hinata wondered what would have happened if that fight had not happened, if they hadn’t broken up, if they had gone to college together.

 

No.

 

Hinata refused to think about that. If that hadn’t happened to them, Hinata never would have met _him_ , and Kageyama was probably happier now, with someone better, someone more attractive.

 

For _he_ made Hinata realize that he was not good enough for anyone, he was too ugly, too weak, too useless, and that Kageyama was only going to break up with him in the end, and how lucky Hinata was to have found _him_.

 

And now Hinata was going to prove his love to _him_ , in the best way he could think of.

 

Hinata would die, but he would die a happy man.


	2. Waking Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata wakes up.

Kageyama stormed into the hospital, gripping his phone tightly. He quickly spotted Daichi and Suga, the latter being a doctor and had called him here.

To the hospital.

Where Hinata was, near death.

And Kageyama was not happy.

Suga looked relieved upon Kageyama’s appearance.

“Kageyama!” Suga sighed. “Come, Hinata’s this way.”

Kageyama nodded, jaw clenched too tight to talk. He followed Suga to one of the hospital rooms.

Hinata lay on the white sheets, looking deathly pale, his bright shock of orange hair the only color in the room. Kageyama felt like the air had been knocked out of him.

“What happened to him,” Kageyama ground out, eyes not leaving Hinata for a moment.

“He-he overdosed. All evidence points to a suicide attempt, but we still don’t know the definite reason. However, we have a pretty good idea.” Suga said, looking over at Kageyama, silently asking for the confirmation that yes, Kageyama did want to know the reason why.

Kageyama nodded, throat dry.

“Hinata’s body has shown explicit signs of physical violence, and older injuries. He has obviously been continually hurt.”

No. It couldn’t be. Not Hinata.

“The man he was living with has a history of physical assault, and was intoxicated when he brought Hinata here.”

Kageyama sat down in a chair, staring blankly ahead. No. Is this what happened to Hinata after we broke up? Kageyama remembered when he and Hinata broke up. How could he forget? Now that he thinks back to it, Hinata was acting strange.

He kept saying that Kageyama was too good for him, and that Hinata didn’t deserve someone like Kageyama. Kageyama, furious that Hinata had been hanging out with a Haruto more and more, hadn’t noticed any of that.

Now he regretted it.

Now, because of this “Haruto”, Hinata was lying near-death on a hospital bed.

Kageyama saw red.

He really wanted to find this guy and kill him.

Hinata shifted slightly in the bed, and Kageyama immediately went over to his side, his rage momentarily forgotten.

Kageyama’s sharp gaze was trained on Hinata’s face, but the boy didn't wake up.

However, he let out a tiny whimper, and then a soft, “Please, stop.” Kageyama’s anger returned ten fold.

Hinata gasped, and then started thrashing violently.

Hinata cried out loudly.

A nurse came bustling into the room. “Please sir, you must leave,” she said firmly, directing her order at Kageyama.

He could only nod.

Then, in the blink of an eye, he was ushered out of the room and into a hospital waiting room. Kageyama collapsed in one of the plastic chairs.

Hinata's broken cries still echoed sharply in his mind.

_I'll avenge you Shouyou. I will protect you from now on._ _This I promise you._

~-~-~-~-~-~-~

Hinata woke up in a bright white room.

He was in a hospital.

He groaned softly, not quite sure how he got there.

His head hurt. Badly. All he remembered was something about Kageyama.

Wait. If he was in the hospital, where was Kageyama? Hinata desperately prayed that Kageyama was alright.

The door swung open and a doctor walked in. Hinata watched him curiously.

“Hello Shouyou,” the doctor said.

“Hello.”

“How are you feeling?” she asked him.

“Well, um, my head hurts really badly, and uh, I ache all over. What happened to me?” Asked Hinata.

“I'm going to get to that. But first, what is the last thing you remember?” Questioned the doctor.

“I-I don’t know.”

The doctor nodded in understanding.

“If you remember, please tell me.”

Hinata nodded.

After the doctor left, Hinata thought hard. Everything seemed fuzzy at first, and it hurt his head. Still, Hinata wanted to know what happened to, so he pushed a bit harder.

Then, everything came back at once.

“AHHHH,” Hinata cried out in anguish. It hurt his head.

But what hurt even more was the memory of what happened.

_How?_

_How had Hinata failed the one thing that he could do to fix their relationship, to prove himself?_

Hinata would be dead of course, but that would have been, well, Hinata didn’t know what would have happened.

_Why was he alive?_

Moreover, how was he alive?

Hinata distinctly remembered taking those pills.

_Did he not take enough?_

Hinata didn’t even register the fact that he was crying until salty tears fell from his face and touched his hands.

He stared down at them in wonder, before letting out a broken sob. Then, a tiny gasp, as everything that had happened hit him fully.

_Wait._

What had he been doing? Giving up his life for another?

Hinata couldn’t fathom what his past self was thinking.

_How stupid could he be?_

What would Kageyama think? What indeed?

Kageyama would probably see him as broken, weak, pathetic.

Hinata wouldn’t be able to handle that.

He didn’t even deserve to know Kageyama; not after he had almost killed himself.

Hinata stayed with that monster of his own free will.

He was so weak.

Did he ever try to reach out?

No. Because he didn’t even stop to consider that anything was ever wrong.

Hinata remembered dating Kageyama.

He couldn’t forget.

Those were some of the best days of his life.

Until Haruto came along.

In as way, he was right. Kageyama was so much stronger than him.

Hinata didn’t deserve someone like that.

_And you know what, that was okay._

All of a sudden, the door opened, and Suga walked in.

Hinata didn’t even bother to hide his surprise. “Suga-san? You’re a doctor?”

Suga smiled softly. “I am.” Then, his expression changed to a worried one. “You shouldn’t be awake Hinata. And it looks like you were crying… are you alright?”

It was Hinata’s turn to smile. “I am now.” He dried his eyes with the back of his hand.

Suga smiled back, but doubt was evident in his eyes. “Okay, so we’ll have to run some tests on you, to check your vitals. But I was supposed to tell you, Kageyama was here to see you. He had to leave per his mother’s request. Should I call him to tell him that you’re awake?”

The icy cold hand of fear gripped Hinata’s heart.

“No!” He shouted. Suga looked surprised. “I mean, no, I don’t want to worry him.” Hinata hastily corrected.

Suga looked unconvinced, but carried on regardless. “Hinata, there’s something else… You see, Haruto has been suspected of domestic abuse. Against you.”

Hinata sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to be able to ignore this looming issue.

“That’s correct. But it’s all my fault, and I realize that now. It won’t happen again Suga-san. I promise,” Hinata said as he looked down in shame.

“Oh Hinata…” Hinata’s head shot up, surprised at the break in Suga’s voice.

Suga’s eyes were full of tears. “Oh Hinata,’’ he repeated. “It’s not your fault. Please don’t ever think that.”

“BUT IT IS SUGA, IT IS!” Shouted Hinata. “IT’S ALL MY FAULT THAT I’M HERE, THAT YOU ARE WORRIED, THAT HARUTO ABUSED ME.” Suga simply looked at Hinata, with pity in his eyes.

Hinata hated it.

“Go away,” he said, turning his head. Hinata knew that Suga was hurt by that, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

When he heard the door close, Hinata allowed the tears to start falling again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot. Now I have 2 more chapters planned out. Oops. 
> 
> Abuse of any type is bad. If you or someone you know is affected, please try to get help.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please don't kill me. I'm already dead inside. 
> 
> And again, if anyone has an idea of who "he/Him" could be, please tell me. Cause, again, I have no idea.
> 
> And I'm thinking of writing a sequel, where Kags finds out and....


End file.
